more kilt stories that’ll never go away

Well, it was gratifying to see that kilts are still in fashion in Scotland. You can even buy one in souvenir shops like this one somewhere along Prince Street in Edinburgh. I tried to talk Hubby into getting one. It would have gone so well with the “Don’t Mess With Texas” Tee Shirt he was wearing! He refused. I guess he just wasn’t in the buying mood.

The kilt jokes probably get very old to tour guides all over the UK, but that didn’t keep ours from entertaining us with several during our early morning tour of the city. I’m sure it’s well known that every Scotsman worth his salt wears his kilt with nothing worn beneath, and the classic answer to the question being there’s nothing “worn” at all beneath the kilt, Madame. Everything is in perfect working order!

Here’s a poem about A SCOTSMAN, by that famous poet Anonymous that he recited for us:

Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair, and
And one could tell as he walked that he’d drunk more than his share.
He fumbled around ’til he could no longer keep his feet,
And stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by,
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye:
“See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built?
I wonder if it’s true what they don’t wear beneath the kilt!”

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be;
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see.
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scottish skirt,
Was nothin’ more than God had graced him with upon his birth.

They marvelled for a moment, then one said: “We must be gone.
Let’s leave a present for our friend before we move along.”
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow,
Around the bonnie star the Scotsman’s kilt did lift and show.

Now the Scotsman woke to nature’s call, and stumbled towards the trees.
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says, to what’s before his eyes,
“Oh, lad I don’t know where ye been, but I see ye won first prize!”

Now that the kilt jokes have been dispatched, we can go on to more serious things in my next post about Scotland. Actually, there is a strong protocol involved in wearing kilts. I’ll talk more about that along with sharing more candid kilt pictures.