What Jeff Foxworthy Says About Utahns

Thanks to my friend Vivian for sharing this with me via email. Every line rings so true that I wanted to share it here to show you what life is like in this neck of the woods.  

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September to May, you live in Utah. If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t work there, you live in Utah.

If you’ve worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you live in Utah.

If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed the wrong number, you live in Utah.

If vacation means going anywhere south of Salt Lake City for the weekend, you live in Utah.

If you measure distance in hours, you live in Utah.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you live in Utah.

If you have switched from heat to A/C and back again in the same day, you live in Utah.

If you install security lights on your house and garage but leave both unlocked, you live in Utah.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you live in Utah.

If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you live in Utah.

If the speed limit on the highway is 75 mph–you’re going 80 and everyone is still passing you–you live in Utah.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you live in Utah.

If you know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you live in Utah.

If you find 10 degrees a little chilly you live in Utah.

If you actually understand these jokes and share them in a blog post, you live in Utah.

7 thoughts on “What Jeff Foxworthy Says About Utahns

  1. I do love visiting your state. Everytime I’ve been there, I’ve enjoyed the beauty of it as well as the history.

    My sister in law just started a blog. She begins with an item of historical note that has stirred up great passion. I’ll turn her on to this entry too. 🙂


  2. I have found this email on Jeff Foxworthy attributed to two diffrent states with various minor changes however, the one on Utah is much more accurate and
    better reflects the state of Utah than Texas.

    Per captia, there are more Rednecks in Texas than Utah so the one on Utah is by far the best.

    That said from a lifelong Utahn that takes the time to visit other places, other states as well as outside this country, and is much more interested in the people than anything a tour guide will give you.

    The only thing I haven’t done is hit deer twice. I used to think I was safe from that one because I rarely hit the mountain roads but the last couple of years deer have invaded into the main part of the town I live in (North of Salt Lake City). As a matter of fact, the Fish & Game department have removed more moose from this town than anywhere on the Wasatch Front! I sure don’t want to hit one of those as it will do more damage than hitting a wall at high speed. A wall won’t turn around and attack you!

  3. I live in Utah and had a good laugh at reading your message. As I’m sitting here getting ready to go shopping with my capris and sandles on with 6 inches of snow on the ground.
    I also drove a school bus for many years and watched kids with no coats, short sleeve shirts and flip flops walk into the school. Thanks for the laugh!

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