Superman Was Cloned!

I’ll bet you thought, like I did, that Superman was American, right? At least he grew up here, in Kansas, I think, according to the comic books I read. But I recently found a surprising number of other “super” men that I could hardly wait to share with you here.

What got me looking for Superman in the first place was the focus this week on General Patraeus’s status report on the troop surge in Iraq. In spite of the surge and billions more money spent, and soldiers dead and injured, things still don’t look all that good! What I found as I looked to make contact with Superman, because it’s clear to me he’s  what we’d need to “win” this war, was a little disheartening. We don’t have a monopoly on Superman! He doesn’t belong to us after all. It looks to me like Superman has been cloned.

First there’s this slightly paunchy superman who not only flies with very little effort, but takes a beautiful version of an Indian “Lois Lane” with him for sightseeing. There’s little fighting done in this one but the two of them do seem to enjoy singing and dancing in space. I think we have to forget calling on him for help in Baghdad. What do you think? 

Then there’s this longer and leaner, much younger, and better looking version from Bollywood. Much better. This one seems to have an “in” with another superhero, a female one this time, Spidergirl! Now there’s a thought! But wait! They seem to spend a lot of time singing and dancing too. And there are times in this one when it seems to be Superman really does have to go the bathroom. (He dances the way my 5-year-old grandson does when he’s trying to avoid a visit to the bathroom.) Our superman needs healthier bathroom habits.

So I had to keep on looking, hoping that somewhere, someday, I could find a tougher one, because we have a tough war to win! Someone who could “hold his own” in a manner of speaking, and wouldn’t spend so much time singing and dancing with the ladies. Finally, there he was! I found him in Turkey.

But wait a minute! Turkey is populated mostly by Muslims, right? I guess it would then follow that this superman is a Muslim. He’s one tough you know what! You know what, General Patraeus? I think we’d better get our troops back home as soon as we can!

2 thoughts on “Superman Was Cloned!

  1. Amazing finds! You know what, Superman was originally Canadian and lives in Toronto instead of Metropolis. Then the creators sold the rights to an US company. So Superman had to emigrate to the states. At least that’s what I’ve heard.

  2. Well bless your heart, Paul, you may be right! But it depends on who you credit for the “birth” of superman, his fictional mother and father who were facing certain death and left him in that Kansas cornfield to be discovered and raised by the Kents, or his creators, Joe Shuster and Jerry Siegel. Joe was Canadian born, but moved with his family to Cleveland in 1924 where he eventually became friends with Jerry. In that sense, Superman is HALF Canadian and HALF American. But it’s clear that Superman has become an international hero.

    On a further note, I learned just today that a Kryptonite-like mineral has been discovered in Ottawa and confirmed by Canada’s National Research Council. So, regardless of his Canadian origins, he’d best stay out of Ottawa now.

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