Can’t afford to send your kids to college? Maybe there’s a better way. No tuition. No need for high SAT scores or high school GPAs. Just send them to live in Utah for a year or two instead. They won’t have to go to college; They can learn everything they need to know about buffoonery just living and observing the people who run things around here. And didn’t we all want to run away and join the circus at one time or another anyhow? The latest three cases that illustrate what a great Clown College Utah can be sometimes: 

The Board of Education for a local school district just voted themselves a nice little pay raise. Their part-time job used to cap off at about $3,000 a year, but effective as of July 1, their base pay will now be $12,000. In addition, if they elect to forego the health insurance that comes with the job, they can get an additional cash payment of $17,456. All told, these board members have an earning potential of $29,456, nearly as much as a full-time first-year teacher. Maybe there should be another course added to Utah university curriculum, say Winning School Board Elections 101.

Utah Congressman Chris Cannon said on a Fox News show Sunday that U.S. Attorney David Iglesias was fired because he was an idiot. Strangely enough, though, Iglesias got great performance reviews right up to 2006 when his name landed on that list. Even Kyle Sampson, another son of Utah who orchestrated the firings, praised Iglesias and said he later regretted including him in the firings. Whether or not anyone will admit it, the Administration–especially Karl Rove–wasn’t happy about Iglesias’ handling of votor fraud investigations and a corruption case involving Democrats.

Now for the best, last Friday a 70-year-old woman in Orem answered her door to find a police officer waiting to issue a ticket for having a brown lawn. Seems the city has an ordinance about “keeping up appearances.” Betty Perry refused to give him her name and instead turned to go inside to call her son. The policeman then started to handcuff and arrest her. According to the police news release she was struggled and tripped and fell on her doorstop, cutting open the bridge of her nose. Perry says the officer split her nose when he hit her with the handcuffs he was trying to restrain her with. He took her to jail where a supervisor, somebody with a little more common sense, said there were better ways to handle the situation. Mrs. Perry was released and driven home. The officer who arrested her has been suspended while the city conducts an independent investigation.

See what I mean? We have an extra room we could let for the right price!